Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Bigots, bigots, bigots everywhere....

This Sunday I attended my first meeting in regards to the Lutheran churches new stance on sexuality. Boy was that fun.
As you can imagine, My mother and I were the only ones there outwardly showing our support. I am not saying we are the only progressive folks in the congregation, but as often happens, only the pissed off showed up and the few who agreed with us in the room, wouldn't speak up in public.
I am happy to say that of the 200 members at Grace, only 20 or so showed for this meeting.
I am only going to share with you some of the highlights. To give you some background, voting in the Lutheran Church works sort of like the electoral college. Each Church elects an official to represent them at the national level. The representative does not have to vote the will of the congregation, but what are the chances of a church choosing to send someone who doesn't agree with the majority???
Also, I am disappointed to say that our Pastor who is very socially minded in most cases, does not agree with the church's ruling either.

My favorite opponent was an older woman in her late 50s / early 60s, whom I have never seen in church for any occasion )of course... I will refer to her a middle-class bigot number one or (MCB #1)

MCB #1 started off by saying that she was afraid it would be perceived that the Church was making a political statement in favor of gay marriage. (part of the ruling is that Lutheran ministers can preform union blessings for gay and lesbian couples)
Pastor Mohr started backpedaling saying that we were not doing that and I felt the need to state that was exactly what we were doing. All organized religion makes political statements - that is as much what we do as worship the Lord.
MCB #1 then stated that she thought the election was fixed and that the gays bribed everyone to vote their way and we should have a "real election"
I expressed my concern that so many congregations would elect representatives with such low morals and then asked if she was aware of how the electoral college and congress worked. No response.
I then asked how many people felt this same way when women were first ordained in the 1970s - of course everyone was for that :)
Next up was Ed Lang - an ancient man to evil to die and king of the bigots. Ed suggested that the church hang a black veil over the church sign and that we engage in a 40 day period of mourning.
After I stopped laughing, I suggested that we engage in a 40 day celebration of love and offered to set up some nightly fireworks. I am such a smart ass.
Ed wanted to know how in the future we can be sure that we do not offer a "call" or job to a homosexual pastor.... I couldn't stop laughing in order to respond to that one.
There were of course those who spouted off bible passages against homosexuality.
I countered with other ridiculous biblical laws (examples include - stoning of a divorced woman, punishment for raping a virgin as marrying her and giving her father silver, etc.) and the fact that Christ never once mentioned homosexuality in the new testament.
Ed accused me of picking and choosing what I wanted to follow and I pointed out that was exactly what he was doing, not me.... I never once have said that we should take the bible as literal law. I believe in THEOLOGY! The study and interpretation of the bible and it's teachings.
That was pretty much it for the meeting... we are to meet again in 30 days after we have all prayed and thought about it. I plan on wearing a "Lutheran" t-shirt of some sort every Sunday until then as a silent celebration.

Here is an older blog from my myspace page that I think fits with today's theme...

Okay – first let me state I hate the term homophobia as it implies a psychological disorder – if you hate someone simply because of a label and do not judge them on the merits of their being, you are a bigot – not a mentally ill person.

And while we are at it, do not spout the Bible at me. If we take the Bible word for word, there are a lot of us in some serious trouble (anybody up for stoning a divorced women???)

Plus, there is this little thing about not judging others.

Anyway the purpose of today's rant is to give credit where credit is due…. As you read this, please allow me to indulge in some stereotypes for the sake of humor.

I recently had the displeasure of hearing the theories of our uneducated, unwashed and generally undesirable brethren lately, but I had to give it to the little Klan member – he had one hell of an idea.

What is it you ask? He stated that we should put all the gays and cats on an island somewhere.


I am totally in favor of this idea, but with some slight modifications… First, I think all the gays should be allowed to sponsor at least one non-homosexual family (Chris, I am assuming you have my back here)

This is utopia for me.

Imagine it - clean streets, beautifully designed rooms, couture clothing for all (there would have to be a least one designer per person – look a the cast of Project Runway alone), low crime, good music, great food, and for once, arts education would get more funding than sports.

Now don't think sports culture is out all together – we know the gays like to stay fit – free gym memberships for all!

Also can you just picture the live entertainment…there would be a revival on every street corner. It would not be looked upon strangely to burst into song.

Did I mention Tiaras with everything… all this and cats! Sweet Lord, take me now!!!!

Now there are a few problems I have noticed in my plan. Like must bigots, he was only talking about gay MEN! Women are fine because apparently they just need a good man or something.

We are going to need a few lesbians on our island. Who is going to fix things and kill the bugs without them? And if we have lesbians, we are going to have to allow dogs – but that is okay, because on our island we only judge the unfashionable and there is always someone willing to do a makeover.

In closing, please do not email me if you disagree and hope to change my mind. I will only delete your comments.. and make fun on you because this is my world and I rule in it.


  1. Oh Lordy. I give you credit for responding to them intelligently instead of simply trying to slap some sense into them, which is what I would have done. I think, though, that you should have handed out the gay fetus bumper stickers, just for good measure.

  2. I may just sneak up and put them on their cars during services.

  3. Thanks for the colorful description of the meeting! At least you can inject some humor into this and make me laugh. I also give you serious props for standing up publicly for something you believe in. You rock!

  4. Great post. I found you through Lemmy. I'm blogrolling you on my main blog Monkey Muck. I too am a Project Runway fan so we'll have much to dish about.

  5. Thanks to Lemmy and Dr. MVM - I followed them here. Excellent post. As a former Lutheran, I still get all the mailings from the church I once attended ritually. The church is up in arms also, and want to see a different vote now taken. Even though I have not been in that building for years - I fired off a letter, with expressions much like you have stated in this post.

    The congregation as a whole is now leaning to an elderly majority, and fewer and fewer young people have come into the church. That in itself tells one how they feel about "homosexuality." I'm all for gays being pastors, and let them know that.

  6. Hello, I found your blog thru the Great Monkey Muck... I'm glad I did!

    I'm Lutheran myself. Okay, I haven't been to church in a very long time, but I was born and raised and went to a Lutheran College, but I still have my faith and believe that Lutherans are good people.

    When the ruling was publicized, I laughed -- not because I was shocked, but because our little Lutheran church, not terribly progressive (not Missouri Synod, either) has had a lesbian pastor for YEARS. When she first came along, some members quit, but most stayed. And she is a good, kind woman who has taken that church into the 20th AND 21st centuries. She gave my father, who was a bit, uh, staunch, his "last rites," and played Danny Boy, his favorite song, on the piano at his funeral. Her partner leads the youth group and is well loved. And so importantly -- when Prop (H)8 was rampant in California, my 84 year old mother, a life long Republican, told the nasty prop 8 callers that in her heart she couldn't vote for it, because she would never deny anyone love and happiness, esp. her pastor. LOVED THAT.

    Glad to see you standing up to the bigotry and hatred and everything hypocritical to the loving faith to which Lutherans are supposed to adhere. We Lutherans are a strong bunch -- we shall overcome! :)