Thursday, January 28, 2010

Willies, wieners and wee wees...

A local community has an honest to God, good old fashion flasher. He has been terrorizing the usually peaceful streets of Moundsville, WV since early this December.
Our local news station pretty much makes a mess of their panties every time this guy flashes his willie at the world. It is the lead story on the news everytime he is spotted and now he has his very own facebook page.
My favorite fan on Facebook said that he wanted to "send his sister to walk around Moundsville just so he can say that someone he knows has been flashed."
I used to visit my sister-in-law in the Northern Regional Jail which is located in Moundsville - damn her for getting parole. I miss everything.

I know it is immature, but naked people still make me giggle. Wieners are funny little (I know, I know, don't call them little) guys!

He was really asking for it...

My friend Craig "Lumpy" Hall sent this to me... it is classic. The most honorable Reverend does not feel the need to review his emails before reading them on the air.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Out of the mouths of babes....

Miss Ella was at my office this afternoon and playing with my ever faithful Bill Clinton doll.
She was admiring his very detailed clothing (black socks, red tie, suspenders...) when she asked me if Bill "could take his pants off."
Through my laughter I assured her that was something the former pres was in fact very skilled at.
Aww well, I still love him to pieces.

More Cool People I Know and You Should Too

My Friends Ant and Greg are featured in this video. I have known Ant and Greg for many, many, many years. Greg was actually my roommate for a while in college - and to this day remains the easiest person I have yet to live with.
They are both two people that I can honestly say live for their art.
Knowing how sincere that Ant is actually brought a tear to my eyes - no matter what you think about him or his music, I can say that every word comes from his heart.

Passion: A Musician's Story from Quanti Studios on Vimeo.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Back Off Reality!!!!

I have this thing where I can be having a perfectly good dream and then remember something about my real life and all goes caput.
I have complained to hubby for years that he has a way of ruining all my good, steamy dreams. There I will be, swept into Johnny Depps arms, his shirtless chest pressed against mine, his lips so close I can feel his breath and BAM I remember I am married and the whole dream falls apart because that would be cheating and I don't do that - even in those delicious hours right before you wake in the morning apparently. DAMN!
Last night Johnny was sadly absent, but I was reliving some of my college days and preparing for a semester of boys, parties, cocktails and very little studying, when I looked at the shelves in my dorm room (much larger and nicer than the original) and noticed a picture of two kids - F@#K, I have kids. I can't go to college, I have to go home and then almost simultaneously the alarm went off, my two-year-old demanded juice and the dog started whining to go out.
Oh well, it did bring back fond memories and put me in a retro kind of mood. So for your viewing enjoyment, I pulled out some old college photos.

Me and Kimmy (1995)

The old radio crew (that's me in the back)

Me, Jenn, and Darcey

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Waiting, waiting, waiting....

I hate waiting... I am not a very patient person and here I am stuck checking the mailbox every day (sometimes multiple times which is ridiculous as my mailman is the most punctual person on the planet)
I recently ordered a copy of the book, Under the Banner of Heaven, and can not wait until it arrives. I have heard wonderful things about this book and am obsessed with the whole polygamist / FLDS thing - from Big Love to the Warren Jeffs case, I just can't seem to get enough.
Also, I am (not so) patiently waiting for my first copy of Ready Made magazine to arrive. It is sort of a martha stewart thing for the hip crowd (and those of us who desperately want to join).
The mag comes out 6 times a year and I have made a vow to complete at least one project from each copy for the entire length of my two year subscription.
I promise to post the sometimes fabulous but more often hilarious, result on my blog so stay tuned.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Corporate America Sucks

The Hubby's was one of 20 positions "eliminated" today.
Not only did they not give him or the other employees any form of notice, they would not allow them to return to their offices to retrieve any personal belongings. Stating instead that they would send ever thing to them at their home addresses.

Ryan has been working with these people as a whole for 11 years. The company was bought out by Equifax about three years ago and everything has been going downhill ever since.

We used to be able to count on a pretty nice Christmas Bonus, but Equifax discontinued the first year. They also eliminated all the little things like free bottled water and employee appreciation days.

Ahhh well - I am trying to think positive! This maybe a good thing!

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Miss Ella quote of the week

Lying on my bed last night...

"Mom, do you remember all the good times we've had?"

Today's big sigh....

The following conversation took place in my office after the prospective client handed me and outstanding utility bill in an amount exceeding $1200.

Me: How did this bill get so high?

Client: I was incarcerated a few times over the past year and got behind.

What I said : I will look into this Sir, but I am not sure you meet the requirements for this assistance. Have a nice day and I will be in touch.

What I wanted to say : You need to either go straight or become a much better criminal, dude, because right now you totally suck at your chosen profession.

Monday, January 11, 2010

simply beautiful


The following is an actual conversation I had with a client today.

Client (getting very indignant): Do you have any idea what it is like to try really hard and still have bad things happen to you?????

Me: (big sigh) No, not at all.

Nothing is harder than having a bad day in the social services industry. Most of the time, I try to lend a simpatatic ear, but then there are days you just want to kick them in the shins.

Yes, Virginia, even we super liberals (crusaders of the left - if you will) want to scream "stop your f'ing whining" sometimes.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

2010 - you sneaky little bastard you...

As I was posting my las blog, my husband called to inform me that he may be getting laid off in the very near future.
After my initial reaction of panic and wanting to vomit, I took a deep breath and realized this maybe a blessing in disguise...
I asked Ryan if he could have any job, what would he want to be and said he actually didn't know. He sort of fell into his current job starting entry level and working his way up to a senior vice president position. He has always liked that he is good at his job, but never really the job itself.
Maybe this is a chance for him to change that - as cliche as it is - to find himself.
Also, the past few years have been really hard on us and there where times, I was not sure that we were going to make it through as a family. This maybe a chance for us to start fresh. I am very willing to relocate (somewhere warm would be nice.)
Who knows what the future may bring, but I am willing to find out.

One Decade Down - One to Go....

I know I haven't been around a lot lately, but you have always been close in my thoughts.
This weekend, I got to spend some quality time with my nine-year-old niece, Baylee. Since her birth, I have been convinced that Baylee was cosmically meant to be my child. We share so many of the same traits (some good, some bad) personality wise. In the looks department, we are no where close. Baylee (who is from the Neeley side and shares no DNA with me) has white, blonde hair and big blue eyes. She is also tiny (her resolution was to be as big as the average kids in her class.)
During one of our conversations, she asked me what my New Year's Resolution was for 2010. I told I was to old for resolutions, but I did have some revalations - as the most eventful decade of my life came to a close.
Baylee, in true "tween"dom really didn't care about my inner thoughts, but I thought some of you might.
In the past decade I:

* got married
* had two children
* bought a house
* switched careers (from marketing to social work)
* lost my brother-in-law, Chris
* lost my "dad", Dick.
* lost my Gram (who I trully believe has been reincarnated as my daughter, Ella)
* watched Ryan's sister succumb to her problems with additction
* visited a family member in prison (see above)
* discovered that my husband is also having problems with addicition
* saw my mother make a huge mistake out of the fear of being alone
* became a great aunt
* lost 50 pounds on a crash diet and gained it all back plus 10
* lost 25 pounds by being healthy and have kept it off for a year
* discovered that I like myself
* discovered that I am way stronger than I ever thought possible
* discovered that I have an artisitic side and am trying to develop it.
* did an entire wedding reception for a friend for less than $2500 - including the catering and invitations - that people still compliement me on.
* did a second, outdoor reception for her sister for less than $500 (no catering this time) using wild flowers and mason jars for the bulk of the decorations.

I am sure there is a lot more, but the fact is - good or bad, I have really grown a lot these past 10 years and am ready to see what the next ten have in store...