This summer my four-year-old, Ella, got her first ever, very own pet. She choose a painted turtle hatchling that she promptly named, Gilly.
Gilly was a cherished pet. The above picture was taken on the day that he arrived home.
Ella and I went out that night and purchased a much larger tank so that he would have lots of room to stretch out and searched the local creeks for large rocks in order to make his home as authentic as we could. We stacked the rocks in such a way as to see create "caves" and hiding places for Gilly.
In addition to the turtle pellets, krill and baby shrimp that you by at the pet store. Gilly was given a diet of fresh fruit and veggies and the occasional piece of chicken or hotdog. (Turtles are omnivores)
Thanks to all the love and care, he was thriving - but the grim reaper had his eye on our beloved little amphiebian (reptile?) and came in the form of a two-year-old brother.
Liam, in a purely accidential incident, critically injured Gilly and despite our best efforts, the hubby and I were not able to save him.
How do you explain this to a four-year-old??? Well in the case of the Neeley clan - you don't.
I actually have left the tank up with the water in it and have hoped she will just think he is hiding.
To make matters worse, the hubby and I have taking to lying to cover our tracks.
A week ago, Ella informed me that she wanted to feed Gilly. Instead of taking this oppurtunity to explain the circle of life to my wide-eyed girl. I said I already had and he was napping.
Last night my husband said that Ella was standing by the tank and stated that she wanted to play with him, but he wasn't there.
I asked him how he handled the whole situation and he replied, "I told her that he went for a walk."
Wow - we really suck at this. How long do you think we can keep this up?
Okay, it wasn't until the: "I asked him how he handled the whole situation and he replied, "I told her that he went for a walk."
ReplyDeleteWow - we really suck at this. How long do you think we can keep this up?" part that I was with you.
Kids are amazingly perceptive. She's going to know soon, if she doesn't already, that there's a problem. Worse, you're unknowingly teaching her that it's okay to lie in order to spare and be spared pain.
I know it's a hard thing to do at any age, but, she's 4, she won't completely understand the whole death, circle of life saga for a while, but she will remember the time she was 4 years old and her parents lied to her.
Trust me, I've known since I was three that my parents smoke pot. They weren't honest with me about it until I confronted them at 16. It's still a very sore spot in our relationship, 16 years after the confrontation, and I never felt like I could trust them. Their core argument to me growing up was telling me that hiding anything, no matter what, amounted to lying, and since they "lied" all those years, according to their rules and not mine, I felt I was more than justified in lying to them.
Mine is, obviously, a worst case scenario, but the longer you go without fessing up, jokes or no jokes, the worse it's going to be for you and for her.